Vick to Congress: I must speak out on the evils of getting caught

Two exemplary speakers are going before Congress today to speak about the evils of dog fighting to help get a bill against animal fighting passed.  No, not someone from BadRap, who regularly rescues dogs who have been involved in fight busts like 11 of the former M. Vick dogs. No, not someone from Best Friends who also sees the effects regularly with dogs taken from fight busts and who took in and cared for 22 of the former M. Vick dogs. No, not someone from the ASPCA or Our Pack or SPCA who also know firsthand the evils of dog fighting as evidenced by the dogs.

No, instead the speakers are… wait for it:

M. Vick, dog killer and dog fighter for six years aka the most notorioous animal abuser of all time who never got charged with animal cruelty but instead got a plea deal and Wayne Pacelle of HSUS who thinks Vick will make a good pet parent.

Vick:

Vick will speak on the evils of getting caught. Dog fighting is wrong (but I loved it and would still be doing it if I had not been caught) if only you could expunge my record if I pretend I am sorry, although I am not one bit except for having gotten caught and my plea deal should have allowed me to get out of jail earlier. Can you please erase everything so that I can continue to make millions and pretend I am not the sociopath I am ?  And oh yeah, and can you arrange for me to get another dog to have fun with, I mean, as a pet for my kids. I’ve got a pool all set up out back for my enjoyment.

Wayne Pacelle:  what a guy who else but Vick (a serial killer in the making with a long history, six years of  enjoying committing animal abuse)  could I bring with me so that I can make money and pretend everything is honky dory?

http://www.care2.com/news/member/525884267/2874292

Politics does indeed make strange dogfellows … Highlights of his Sociopath in the House meeting other Sociopaths Speaking Tour: Vick will meet Bachmann, Palin and others.  Bachmann was overheard to say Let Us Pray for Gay Dogs while Palin was letting Todd and the kids eat freshly killed Moose. Now Vick and Pacelle can cross off one more whistle stop on the Vick PR Rehab Express… aka Vick is really human tour aka Second Chances for dog killers who play football Tour. suckers all aboard… choo choo choo… That is if Vick actually shows up (he’s been known to chicken out, cancel last minute speaking arrangements due to foot in mouth aka I cannot help spouting off how I am, an irredeemable and unrepentant dog killer no matter how much money they are paying me to say otherwise, disease)…

Afterwards, Vick and Pacelle will be having lunch with Obama and talking over old times, like when Obama congratulated Vick’s manager on his second chance a few months ago. Rumor has it that the lunch will be freshly catered by Subway and feature Green Ham and Baloney sub sandwiches.  For dessert, a lovely four tier dog cake will be served in Vick’s honor. Said dog cake will be dunked into small tubs of champagne in honor of Vick’s former pet dog Champagne who Vick threw into the ring and laughed at while his dog got brutally hurt.  The dog cake dunking will begin a cool new tradition at the White House and give a whole new meaning to the saying Let Them Eat Cake. Subway’s new motto: Let Them Eat Baloney.

A couple of surprise guests, will include Oprah Winfrey, who will be on hand to give Vick, Obama and Pacelle a trip to dog fighting country where they will meet up with old and new friends and continue the celebration. And reps from Nike will be giving out $200 shoes to throw at children.   Nike’s new motto: Let Them Eat Shoes.

Not to be outdone, in the West Wing, apparently Obama will be showing off the puppy Second Chance that his staff is grooming and training. Obama will be giving the poor dog to Vick as soon as Vick’s ban is up in 2012.  Some say the pup is a consolation prize but no worries there are more than 4 million shelter trash dogs to choose from. First dog Bo will be at doggie daycare for the occasion. Just in case. Obama would not want to have to explain to his children what happened to Bo.

Also on the agenda for Congress this week:

Tomorrow, Casey Anthony is going to be speaking to Congress about the evils of motherhood… oh correction evils of killing your child and getting a book deal… correction… evils of abusing your child and getting a movie deal… evils of getting caught lying and going to jail.

The day after that, Rupert Murdoch is going to be speaking to Congress about the evils of getting caught listening into people’s private phone conversations and deleting their messages and then discuss ways AT&T and other phone companies should make it easier for phone hackers aka Fox News reporters to do their job.

By the end of the week Congress and the President are going to be having a party on the taxpayers without the taxes that they’ve NOT gotten from the big corporations nor the elite 1% millionaire/billionaires… and pretend our economy is not in the toilet for the poor and the middle class and the job creators with job creation disorder (who sent our jobs oversea) will give themselves a new raise/bonus.

from the Green Dogs Baloney and Ham Gazette Special Edition aka Cici and me

3 Comments

Filed under animal abuse, badrap, best friends animal sanctuary, boycott, economy, end dogfighting, Entertainment Tonight, laughter is the best medicine, media madness, Michael Vick dogs, obama, Oprah, Uncategorized

3 responses to “Vick to Congress: I must speak out on the evils of getting caught

  1. This is hilarious. Isn’t it wonderful that you can do the crime, do some time, be heaped with honors & held up as a role model, get million dollar endorsement contracts and sports contracts, AND free publicity courtesy of the U.S. Congress? How is it that a man that saves the lives of a planeload of passengers gets 15 minutes of fame, yet Michael Vick is a star (and multi-millionaire) for life? Also, how is it that some people who have abused animals are banned for life from owning another, yet Vick who killed and tortured dozens of dogs, is eligible for a dog next year? I can hardly wait for all the publicity he receives when he gets one. What a sad circus.

  2. Queade Di Ilio

    Loved the article! Well written! You say what people think!!! I wrote to Nike and they said Vick made a mistake and is sorry. Leaving a load of laundry in the washer for a week is a mistake, what Vick did was twisted and sick. He didn’t just participate in dog fighting, he tortured and killed dogs.

  3. michael vick, is a sick, twisted, evil human. he should never be allowed, to own another dog. i feel the only thing he’s sorry for: HE GOT CAUGHT! I feel given the chance to own another dog,HE’LL DO IT AGAIN.

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