Beware, there is a dangerous Land Shark also known as a Bed Hog, that encroaches upon human beds and takes them over…once this infamous predator takes over, there is little chance for recovery
Once the Land Shark has found its way upon your bed and has its large rocklike butt near to your pillow, by your face, you can try these moves for possible success but do not budge a sliver or an inch or you will lose ground and then ALL will be lost and your place on the bed will be completely confiscated:
1. The push with both hands or wedge an elbow like a crowbar
2. Plop down right on top of the Land Shark with your entire body or your pillow
3. Cover the Land Shark with a blanket
4. Ask the Land Shark to move in a loud voice
The Land Shark has been known to respond in any of these ways:
1. ignores you
2. opens its eyes and looks bemused at your dilemma
3. refuses to budge one inch of space
4. may stand up and sit down in the exact same spot just to confuse you
5. a sneaky new trick is to stick its head underneath yours
If the Land Shark does NOT move away, it is likely that the next stage of infiltration will take place and you will likely experience:
being pawed in the belly region
licked, bathed and coated in saliva
a tail will be wagged directly into your face
a smelly toot sounding from its nether regions will emit directly into your face
If any and all of the above happen, it is useless to try to recover any ground. The bed is NOT safe for human habitation any longer.
Take the proper precautions or this too can happen to you.
Once the Land Shark has landed and taken over your bed like this, they are unlikely to move over any time soon. And they may hide underneath your blanket to fool you but eventually they will pant and you will know that they are still there.