Surviving the loss of a pet…

It occurred to me after talking with a nice lady in Borders bookstore the other day, that perhaps I should write about this taboo for many topic. That for some reason, I keep meeting people who have lost their pets and are grieving. Or just missing their pets because they are away from home. It isn’t just that cici attracts these people… it is for me to assist others through the terrible loss similar to what I experienced. Sometimes the most obvious things are not so obvious to us.

Ten years ago, my cat Abundance ran away and I was devastated. The shock, grief, and trauma was terrible. And the worst part is that no one seemed to understand. It’s just a cat, they said. Just a cat. That cat was a family member to me. He represented many things including the security, love and companionship he brought to me every day.

And I think that we humans let our guard down and become vulnerable to pets and animals in ways that we do not allow with our human companions. We open up our hearts to our pets. And that is part of why it hurts so much when our beloved furry friends leave, whether through death or illness or running away. It is often difficult for people to experience the intimacy and closeness with other humans that we experience with our four legged friends.

I was just learning how to communicate with Abundance telepathically and becoming very good at it. And then it seemed, the next minute, he was gone. Vanished.  Intuitively, I found out where he went but it was too late. He hid next door in a tree house while it rained for a day or two. But I did not find out until three or four days later. I went through numerous phases of grief including anger, denial, bargaining, depression and an unending well of sadness.  I cried my heart out.  I missed him soooo much and still do to some degree to this day… he was an important part of my life

and so I decided that I would NEVER EVER have a pet again. The loss was too much. Too painful. I get much too attached.

I went through many stages and had to let go of several cats subsequent to Abundance’s leaving. Eventually, he came back to me in a dream a few years ago sitting on my belly and purring the way he always did at 4 pm every afternoon. This dream confirmation brought a deep sense of healing, peace and closure.

And two years ago, I met Cici and she became my new pet companion. Very different from a cat. I did not want a dog or another pet. I worried, what if I should lose her, too after becoming attached to her. And yet, she is so sweet, loving brought joy and happiness back into my life.  When she got hurt last year, it was traumatic and just plain hard to deal with three surgeries and keeping her cooped up for three months. But we got through it. And now we have new challenges. Every day.

And i cannot imagine my life without her in it. Yet, I know that eventually, she, too, will pass on and I will have to cope with the emptiness and terrible loss.

If you are experiencing the loss of a pet and need counseling support, please let me assist you. Someone who knows what it is like, who has been there and gone through the pain and loss and sorrow of losing a pet.

Here are a few articles that can help, too.

http://www.ddfl.org/petloss.htm

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grieving_pets.htm

Leave a comment

Filed under grief, losing a pet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s