Time to shape up poochie mama

despite going on a car ride with her new boyfriend the adorable Harley the other day, Cici has had it with her derelict mama…

a short list of my crimes

well, during the trip to the store, I had the audacity to go shopping/get out of the car without her…she whined while Harley sniffed her butt… apparently for most of the time I was gone…afterwards they had a pee contest

every time she fixes upon me that stare that means she MUST go out for a walk, then follows it up with a low grunty/whiny/growl, and lastly puts her chin on my knee to let me know that she is serious, my demerits pile up  (will I get detention, or have to take a time out?)  I do not get any credit for opening up the door for her many times a day and she either does nothing or goes out, sniffs the air and then comes back inside immediately without doing any business (I am expected to be her personal door opener, comes with the job description so it does not count)

then, of all the nerve, I expect some room on the bed to sleep when she has commanded the entire space for herself to spread her paws out… dang, what does a polka dot princess have to put up with around here?

and whenever roomie/owner leaves the house, without her, and certainly not with her permission, that is my fault, too.

what’s a polka dot princess’ mama to do besides feeding her hot dogs, chicken, and turkey that I cook for her, (instead of feeding her dog food which she does not want to eat the last few days), giving her unlimited belly rubs, petting her head, scratching her butt, praising her, playing with her and attending to her every whim?

that’s why she pays me the big bucks…

and oh by the way, it occurs to me that it is our 5th anniversary of being together, since I rescued her from the meanies…

but I better shape up or she may be in the market for a new mama who will treat her every wish/whim as a command to be followed immediately…

Dog Mama Requirements:
  • Gourmet personal chef
  • Writing/Editing and Computer Skills
  • Big butt for being a comfy pillow
  • Follows the canine handbook/rulebook to a T
  •  Savvy door opener and cookie dispenser
  • Knows every whim, command means ASAP (fluent in canine nuance)
  • Mastered K9 accents, sniffs and dialects
  • Pushover/marshmallow heart
  • Must obey in sickness, health, for richer or poorer
  • Ignores dog hygiene (dogs baths are stupid)
  • Performs magic tricks (such as making treats/cookies fall from the sky)

in the meanwhile… I seriously thought one of her spots came off the other day…so when I saw this, LOL…

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Filed under dogs, funny, pet care, silly dog, spoil your dog rotten, spoiled brat dog

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